I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
