My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
