i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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