we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
