maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
