That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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