I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
