I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
