how can u be prego again
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
