then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Bring me that man meat
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
