More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
