then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
