Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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