so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
