dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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