I smell stomach acid.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
