I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
