Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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