The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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