I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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