as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
