I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
