Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
