Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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