so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
