so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Do vagina's smell?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
