which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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