Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize