My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
try to milk me bitch
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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