Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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