oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
