please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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