I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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