I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
