hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
