matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
