Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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