Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
