he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
