If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
