Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
