She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize