Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
