mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
