Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
