Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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