I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
