It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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