You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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