You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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