What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Where is the hickey?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I pour the whiskey from now on
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
