I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
pray to the hookup gods
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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