Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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