I'm drive I can fine osifer
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
