new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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