I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
