If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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