Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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