STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
