Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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