have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
