What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
