I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
