So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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