Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize